Reverberation
by NElaineR
Summary: Not going to summarize! ;-  Oh yeah, don't own Lie to Me.
1. Chapter 1

She awoke to a coughing fit. The dust was so thick she could barely see. A pinhole of light shone from somewhere above. She tried to move to assess her situation and found that she was unable. Something was pinning her down. Wait. _Someone_ was pinning her down. _Oh God_.

"Cal?" Gillian took a deep breath and started coughing again. No answer.

A memory swept through her followed by sheer terror. He had shoved her down and covered her body with his own. He had taken the brunt of the explosion. They were now in a crawlspace only afforded them by a single fallen beam.

Her face was wet. She hadn't realized that she had started to cry. She tried again. "Cal?"

Nothing.

With a more concentrated effort she began to wiggle out from under him. Didn't have a lot of room to move but managed to pull herself out enough until she lay next to him. With shaking hands she reached over to gently turn him over. He seemed heavier than he should be, being that he wasn't a large man. _Dead weight_. No. Not dead. Can't be. Don't even _think_ that.

She was finally able to turn him over to find his face slack, sticky blood coating the right side from hairline to jaw. With trembling fingers, she reached out to check his pulse. Hesitated, but had to know. _Please_ _don't let him be dead_.

Gillian let her air out with a quiet 'huff.' Hadn't realized that she'd been holding her breath. He did have a pulse. Alive. For now. _Stop it_!

The first thing he became aware of was the stinging wetness in his right eye. He started to bring his hand up to wipe it away but quickly faltered. The simple action brought a ripple effect of pain so intense he had to bite back nausea. _Okay. That was a bad idea._

Somewhere he heard a voice say his name. A very familiar voice. Cal grunted in response before spiraling down into darkness once again.

Gillian had positioned herself so she could cradle his head in her lap. He had stirred briefly but was now quiet.

She had somehow dozed off while hunched protectively over Cal's prone form. With a start, she realized that she could hear movement somewhere above them. "We're down here!" Gill tried to scream but only managed a croak. Swallowed thickly and tried again. This time her voice had more strength. "WE'RE DOWN HERE!"

There was definitely the murmur of voices.

Cal awoke in her lap, coughing. Even in the low light, she could see blood upon his lips. _No, no, no_. "Hang in there Cal! Please!" Gillian whispered fervently into his ear. "They know we're here."

He cracked his eyes open. They were glassy with pain but she noted that he was able to focus on her. "Tryin', luv."

"No trying. Do it!" She brushed his face gently with her fingertips. "I mean it Cal."

He gave a weak smile. "That sounded a little like Yoda."

She returned the smile through a torrent of tears. Kissed his forehead. "You're such a geek."

Cal gave a low chuckle before coughing again.

"You alright down there?" A voice floated down from above.

"We have an injured man down here! Please hurry!" Gillian fought to control the waver in her voice. Cal was unconscious again. He looked almost gray. The human body can only take so much and she had no idea to the extent of his internal injuries. Someone who was always larger than life can die too. She sobbed and allowed the tears to flow unhindered. She cradled him tenderly. There wasn't a lot of time.

**What do you think? Should I continue? ;P**


	2. Chapter 2

_She had dropped by with Chinese take out and some CDs. Emily was with her mom and Gillian suspected that dinner was not high on his priority list. Beans, toast and beer were not what she considered a real meal._

_ "You are a lifesaver!" Cal was poking through the food with interest as she headed over to his stereo to pop some music in. She reached into her bag to pull out one of her CDs but he was there in a heartbeat._

_ He snatched it from her hand. "What is THIS?"_

_ "Cal!"_

_ Mock horror crossed his features. "Styx? Really Foster? Styx?"_

_ "Hey I like my 80's cheese." She defended herself and made a swipe for it but he kept it easily out of her reach. _

_ "Put me outta my bloody misery!" Cal made a strangled sound in the back of his throat. Despite his gruff act she could see his eyes sparkle with mischief._

_ "Cal – give it here now. You're acting like a child!"_

_ He was suddenly in her face, head cocked to the side, just a breath away. Gillian's heart gave a little skip despite herself. "Or you'll what?" His voice was barely a whisper as he taunted her. His eyes bored into hers. They flickered down to her lips and up again. "Well?"_

_ Then the moment was over. He took a step away and tossed the jewel case to her. She managed to catch it before it clattered to the floor._

_ "No puttin' that drivel in my stereo. Might contaminate it!" Cal mocked over his shoulder with a grin as he went to grab himself some food._

_Funny the things that pop into your head_. She had screamed and fought them, refusing to allow them to pull her out of the rubble first, but they had overpowered her. Now as she sat numbly, she could only think about insignificant moments from the past. Maybe they weren't so insignificant. Gillian shifted in her seat, her body aching. Cuts, bruises and a sprained wrist. Hadn't noticed it until the firefighter had grabbed her by the hand. That was it.

Loker already let her know about Barton's arrest. The bastard had paused just long enough to admire his handiwork. It was almost like he wanted to get caught – he had accomplished what he set out to do. The game was over.

Gillian gratefully accepted the coffee handed to her. Took a sip and crinkled her nose. Awful. Took another sip anyway. Unbidden tears slowly rolled down her cheeks as she sobbed silently.


	3. Chapter 3

_Gillian knocked softly before entering Cal's office. It was completely dark, save the soft light coming from the study._

_ "Cal?"_

_ File in hand; she peeked in the back room. They had had such a heavy caseload of late that he was practically living in the office. Tonight was no exception. She found him flopped on the couch snoring softly. His clothes were rumpled and he hadn't even bothered to kick his boots off._

_ She took a moment to study him. All walls were down in his sleep making him appear almost boyishly vulnerable. Not for the first time, she took note of how handsome he was. Not in the traditional sense certainly, but attractive nonetheless. This, coupled with that accent and those bedroom eyes had charmed many a woman. Gillian wasn't immune either, but she pretended otherwise. Her feelings went much deeper. Deeper than she was comfortable admitting to anyone, even to herself sometimes. But it was best to keep things, well, less complicated. _Still_. She found her eyes flicker to his lips. They were parted slightly in slumber and she couldn't help but wonder…_

_ "Somethin' I can 'elp you with Foster?"_

_ Gillian started, guilt momentarily flashed across her face. She could only hope he didn't notice. "Brought you the Evans file – couple of things you might find interesting. I hadn't meant to wake you."_

_ Cal regarded her through half closed eyes. Seemed amused but said nothing. _

_ "Anything else?" His eyes never left hers. Amusement shifted into something else ever so briefly before it vanished._

_ "No, why?" She stonewalled._

_ He sat up, ran a hand through his already tousled hair and over his fatigued face. Cal was on his feet and in her personal space before she could blink. "Sure?" He was wearing the smirk that made her want to alternately hit him or kiss him. _

_ She stared, refusing to take a step back. A well-groomed eyebrow rose in question. "Of course. What else would there be?" Gillian felt her limbs weaken in response to his proximity. Her heart rate increased. Did her damnedest to keep it hidden._

_ The smirk fell away and momentary hurt shadowed his eyes. Then it was gone. He nodded. "I'll meet you in the lab." _

_ Cal turned abruptly and disappeared._

(Break)

All the damned games. All the wasted time. Gillian sipped her bitter brew as she stared blankly through red-rimmed eyes.

There was movement next to her and she turned to find Emily shifting in her sleep. She was curled in a fetal position, her head resting on Gillian's leg. The expression on her face was pure anguish. Gillian placed her coffee on the side table before gently pushing Em's hair back from her face. She then settled a comforting hand lightly on the girl's shoulder. Emily let out a soft whimper but became still. She gazed at the teenager with soft eyes. So much like her dad. Maybe not physically, but in almost every other way.

Torres had hunted Zoë down in Europe. She supposedly was on her way back to the states. Gillian bristled at the thought of Cal's ex but knew that she needed to be here for Emily at the very least.

She had started to doze off before snapping awake at approaching footsteps. A new wave of fear washed over her as she stared up into the doctor's compassionate eyes.

"Dr. Foster?"


	4. Chapter 4

_Gillian looked up quickly when she heard the door._

_ Her whole body ached from her attack and she couldn't stop trembling. She let out an inaudible breath of relief when she saw Cal approach. His hands were stuffed in his pockets and his eyes were full of worry…and guilt._

_ "Hey darlin'. How you feeling?"_

_ She gave a little shrug, not trusting herself to speak quite yet._

_ He moved nearer and sat down on the hospital bed next to her. "I'm sorry luv. This shouldn't 'ave happened. I should have seen it," he muttered; looking down, voice shaking slightly._

"_You couldn't have known what he had planned." Her own voice was barely above a whisper._

_ She met Cal's eyes and saw such tenderness that hot tears threatened to overtake her again. A sob escaped before she could stop it._

_ "Hey." He pulled her toward him and wrapped his arms around her gently. She gradually calmed, feeling safe within his strong embrace. Cal wasn't a big guy but he emanated a power that brought her comfort. She supposed it just came from the fact that he'd been a fighter in one way or another his whole life. She allowed herself to nestle against his lean chest and breathe in his scent. Felt him brush his lips against the top of her head. Gillian gradually relaxed thinking he was almost better than the marijuana she had experimented with in college. He didn't know about _that_. A giggle snuck out before she could stop it._

_ He pulled back, hands on her upper arms and a quizzical expression on his face._

_ Quickly looking away, she wiped remaining tears from her eyes. "I'm okay. Really."_

_ Cocking his head to the side Cal searched out her face and eyes. It was apparent that he didn't believe her but after a moment, he nodded nonetheless. "When are they letting you outta here?"_

_ "Should be discharged any time now."_

_ "Why don't I just hang out for a bit? I'll give you a lift home."_

_ "Cal, you don't have to do that. I'll be fine."_

_ "Darlin', it's not negotiable." _

(break)

"Yes?" Gillian sat up quickly causing Emily to also push herself into a sitting position. The girl blinked sleepily before realization sharpened her focus. "Is my Dad…?"

"I'm Dr. McIntyre, one of the attending physicians. I wanted to let you know that Dr. Lightman…is alive." His expression was guarded. "There was a lot of damage, much of which we were able to repair in surgery, but the next 48 hours will be the determining factor."

Gill cleared her throat. "MUCH of which you were able to repair?" She kept her voice and gaze steady.

He nodded. "He has a small brain bleed, which should be able to take care of itself. He also suffered a collapsed lung – we have a chest tube in place to take some of the pressure off. Just realize his body has gone through a lot of trauma. To be frank, he's lucky to be alive."

"Can we see him?" Emily asked hopefully.

Gill gave her a sideways glance, impressed with how the girl was holding up. Her eyes were bright with unshed tears but her expression was controlled. Cal would be proud.

Dr. McIntyre hesitated but only a moment. "Of course. Just for a few minutes."

Emily took Gill's hand as the doctor led them into the ICU. Gill gave her what she hoped was a reassuring smile when they briefly made eye contact.

Rooms were laid out in a circular pattern around a central nurse's station. Lights were dim and all they could hear were the steady beep of medical equipment, hushed voices and footsteps. They followed McIntyre into room 5.

Emily gave a gasp and Gillian felt her insides clench painfully. She could barely breath as she took in Cal's pallid form and all the tubes snaking in and around him.

The teenager immediately was at her father's side. She gently picked up his hand in hers and brought it to her cheek. "Dad?" Cal didn't stir; his face remained slightly turned away from them. She looked over her shoulder at the McIntyre. "Is he in a…coma?"

The doctor shook his head. "No. Just heavily sedated. He fought us a bit coming out of anesthesia." He let out a sigh. "I'm hoping that that's a good sign."

A ghost of a smile flickered across Emily's face. "Sounds like Dad."

Gillian hung back, wanting to give the girl a moment with her father. At the same time, she could feel her emotions running too close to the surface - she needed to get them until control before she could approach his bedside. She could feel her whole body trembling from strain and sheer exhaustion and wondered briefly if she might either throw up or pass out. Taking a deep breath, Gillian left the doorway to stand next to Emily.


	5. Chapter 5

Images slowly began to take form before Cal's eyes. The antiseptic smell that assaulted him told him he was in the hospital. He tried to remember events that may have put him here but so far he was drawing a blank. Tried to take a deep breath but something wasn't quite right. He proceeded to shift his body slightly and gasped in pain. Decided not to shift any more. There were needles, wires and tubes _everywhere_. Didn't want to contemplate that one too much. _Bloody hell_. If he didn't feel so damned weak, he would be getting quite alarmed at this moment.

"Dad?" His daughter's frightened face floated above him.

He blinked again, trying to push away the fuzziness. To his annoyance, it wasn't quite working.

"Hey Em." His voice was like gravel.

"How are you feeling?"

"Been better darlin'." Cal's gaze shifted beyond Emily and attempted to focus on Gillian. She gave him a small smile. There was so much going on in her eyes that he couldn't quite even process it all. Decided to file it away for future reference, if he could remember that is. "Welcome back Cal."

He managed a little smirk but she could see the warmth in his eyes. His medicated fog couldn't mask it.

"About time you woke up." A voice berated him from near the door. Zoë. He gave an inward groan. "You had us scared to death."

"Sorry 'bout that." Cal sighed, eyes drooping slightly.

"Dr. Lightman!" A white coat swept into the room. "Good to see you awake." McIntyre studied the hospital equipment readings and proceeded to examine Cal. "You're a lucky man."

Cal's eyes swept over the three women hovering over him. "Uh huh."

"If you had been just a bit closer to that device, we wouldn't be having this discussion right now. As it is, you've got some serious recovery time ahead of you."

_Device. Bomb. _He was in an explosion. Why couldn't he remember?

The M.D. caught his patient's expression. Nodded. "Not unusual to have some memory loss. Brain's way of protecting you. It'll come back. I wouldn't be too concerned." McIntyre finished up his exam, made a few notes and shut the chart. "You need to rest now. If all goes well, we'll get you out of ICU in a few days. I'm going to send someone in to help with your pain in the meantime."

Cal started to shake his head but the doctor cut him off. "You've already tried to rip out your chest tube once. We're not taking any chances."

"Brilliant." He mumbled groggily, not liking the implications.

"Got to be a good boy, Cal." Zoë. Again. She approached his bedside and gently touched his hand. "Look, I'm going to take Emily home. She's barely had any sleep."

"Mom, I'm fine."

"We'll be back though. " She finished as if their daughter hadn't said a work. "Get some rest." She brushed his cheek with her fingertips.

Emily obviously didn't want to leave but she couldn't mask her fatigue. She leaned over and gave him a quick kiss. "Love you Dad."

"You too Em."

Zoë wrapped an arm around her daughter's shoulders and guided her from the room. Emily gave him a smile over her shoulder and then they were gone.

Gillian took a moment and pulled a chair closer to the bed. She sat at the edge and took his hand in hers. He watched her steadily from under heavy lids. "You don't remember what happened?"

"I'm tryin', but everything's murky."

A nurse slipped in quietly and injected more medication into his IV. She gave them both a little smile before leaving the room just as quickly.

"Wonderful." Cal slurred. "As if they don't already have me zonked enough. Did I really try to pull tubes out?"

"So they say."

He gave a little shrug and winced for his effort. "Can't blame me. I have tubes where it's not fittin' for a man to have tubes."

Gillian laughed in spite of herself. He was back. Hazy around the edges but Cal nonetheless. She looked down to organize her thoughts before meeting his gaze again. "You saved my life Cal."

He just watched her. Frustration that he couldn't remember was apparent in his eyes.

"I found the bomb first. You…you pulled me away. Knocked me down." Tears threatened to overflow once again. Her emotions had become so unchecked the last few days. She supposed that it was understandable but she hated feeling out of control.

"I would do it again." Cal whispered. He slowly reached out and touched her face. Wiped a tear away with his thumb. "It's purely instinctive at this point." His eyes delved into hers, willing her to _see_ him.

Gillian smiled, blue eyes crinkling slightly.

His focus was starting to waver as the drugs took effect. The last thing he remembered that night was Gillian leaning over and brushing his lips softly with her own.


	6. Chapter 6

"I remember now." Cal's jaw clenched as he thought about what a bloody idiot he'd been. Walked right into a trap and brought Gillian along for the ride. They could have both been killed. Shame burned across his features as he looked down and away.

"Look Cal." Her voice was gentle. "Barton had been playing you for months. He knew your blind spots. Let's face it, you had every reason to believe that Emily was in danger."

He grunted but didn't comment.

"It's not like you don't tend to go off half cocked as it is."

"Should have known though. At the very least, I shouldn't have let you come along."

"I was just as worried." Gillian sighed. "I don't think you could have stopped me."

An eyebrow went up. "You think not?" He met her eyes and the mood started to shift. He was still regaining his strength but it didn't prevent him from giving her looks that made her flush and want a cold shower.

"Dr. Lightman?" McIntyre gave a little knock before he breezed into the room. "You about ready to get out of here?"

"You have no idea." Cal pulled his eyes away from Gillian to stare expectantly up at the M.D.

The other man chuckled. "I'm sure most of the staff shares your sentiment."

Cal feigned innocence. "Dunno what they'd be talking about."

Gillian snickered and avoided the dark gaze thrown her way.

"Well, I'm going to let you out of here but there are _conditions_." The doctor cleared his throat and regarded Cal as one might a particularly troublesome toddler. "You have to take it _easy_. NO work. I'm not kidding. You overdue it and you're going to wind up back in here. You need to continue your breathing exercises to strengthen that lung. Also, I'm going to arrange for someone to come by to check on you every day."

"What? Why? My daughter –"

"Does she attend school?"

"Uh, yeah," Cal allowed begrudgingly.

"Well, that's a good chunk of the day when you're alone."

Images of a large hirsute woman named Helga paraded through Cal's mind. He looked at Gillian helplessly. _Please_?

Amusement danced in her eyes, but her face remained impassive.

He tried again. This time with the puppy dog look. _Please_?

She grinned in spite of herself. Gave him an eyeroll. "Listen, I can come by in the mornings. It would be easy enough to work from my laptop for a couple of hours."

McIntyre looked back and forth between them, a slight look of skepticism on his face. Cal gave him a big cheesy smile and raised his eyebrows. A slow breath leaked out from between the doctor's teeth. "Alright, but like I said, you need to take it _easy_. No lifting more than 15 lbs. Walking is good – have a spotter though in case you get dizzy. No marathons. Don't forget the exercises."

(BREAK)

She shut his laptop with a loud snap.

"Hey!"

"Do you remember that part in the instructions about NOT working."

Cal glared at her. "How do you suppose looking at my computer will interfere with healing?"

"Hmmm…maybe because you may see a case that will grab your attention and you will not be able to keep yourself from jumping in with both feet. Before I know it there will be anarchy in here. I know you Cal."

He rolled his head to one side and continued to glare. "I may have very well fared better with a Helga."

"Doubt it. Did you do you breathing exercises?"

"Yes, mum." Anger suddenly flooded through him like a rabid animal. He got up quickly, knocking the kitchen chair onto its side. Immediately felt woozy. "Ah, hell."

Gillian caught him by the arm but he shook her off. "I'm okay." He wasn't but he needed to get away. He couldn't stand being treated like an invalid. Fists clenched, the anger remained unchecked within him – he wanted to go down and yank Barton apart for making him feel this way. As far as he knew, the bastard didn't even know that he was still alive. That would definitely take the air out of his balloons. There would be a perverse pleasure in seeing the expression on his face when Cal dropped in for a visit. _Dead man walking_.

Cal stumbled toward the door, intent on grabbing his coat. Keys should be in the pocket. He got to the entry before Gillian grabbed him by the arm once again. "Cal!"

He stopped short, could easily read fear on her face but couldn't help but snarl at her anyway. "WHAT?"

At that moment, darkness began to swirl around the edges of his vision. He felt himself begin to slump. _What did McIntyre say? Brain bleed? How long does that take to heal? Shit. _ Cal slid down the wall in the foyer, knocking a couple of photos off their hangers in the process.

(BREAK)

He opened his eyes to see Gillian squatting next to him. One hand was on his shoulder while the other was deftly making a one handed call. Worry and fear furrowed her brow as she peered down at the phone.

"Gill."

Relief flooded through her when she heard the whisper of her name, but her voice was stern. "Cal. What the hell were you thinking?"

He shook his head slowly. "I'm sorry that I'm such a jackass." His eyes pleaded with her, all the dark rage gone.

She considered for a moment before hanging up the phone. Cal had truly been terrifying just moments ago. She'd never seen that level of anger before. Now at least he seemed like _him_ again.

With her support, Cal was able to get himself to the couch. He dropped down onto the cushions and peered at her, shame and confusion apparent in his eyes. "I'm sorry," he offered once again. "I'm really not sure what happened. I just – " He shrugged and shook his head helplessly.

Gillian sat down and turned her body toward him. "Where were you going anyway?" Not a hint of accusation, just curiosity.

"I think the plan was to beat Jesse Barton to a pulp."

"Oh." She tilted her head. "Doesn't sound like a well thought out plan."

"Nah, probably not. Seemed like it at the time though."

They stared at one another before slow smiles overtook both of them.

Gillian slowly reached out and touched his face. She was mildly surprised when he didn't move away. "Are you still dizzy? We really should contact your doctor."

Cal sighed and took her hand. "Think I'm okay. Just being a bloody moron. Too impatient." He began to play with her fingers, not looking into her face. "Hard to sit still."

"Really?" Gillian teased. "I never caught that."

"Yeah, know it must be shocking." Cal continued to hold her hand prisoner. A moment later he brought it to his lips and gently kissed each finger.

She froze, her heart leaping into her throat. "Cal."

'Hmmm?" He kissed the palm of her hand before working his way to her wrist, noting that her pulse had quickened. "Problem Foster?" He looked up at her and smiled. "I just need to remember to take things slowly. Don't want to overtax myself. Yeah?"

She stared at him, trying to breathe normally. Couldn't quite do it, so she gently pulled her hand from his grasp. Reduced contact is a good thing, especially when he's getting that _look_ and she could feel herself responding to it.

"I think it would be a good thing if you rested for a bit."

He met her eyes, allowing her to see both amusement and desire. "Probably right." Cal nodded and gave her a lopsided grin. "Wanna spoon?"


	7. Chapter 7

**Thanks for all your kind reviews! Probably should take a moment to remind everyone that, "Oh, yeah, I don't own Lie to Me!" ;-P**

With shaking hands, she let herself in when he didn't answer her knock. Fear amplified her heart rate as all possible scenarios played out in her mind. None of them were good. It was amazing how well her imagination could work when it came to negative thoughts. She really needed to work on that.  
Gillian wandered into the hallway tentatively. "Cal?"

There was no response.

Her eyes swept all the downstairs rooms before heading up to the second floor. "Cal? Are you okay?" Gillian quickened her pace as she started to panic and proceeded to almost bounce off of him as he exited the master bedroom. She stopped short just in time.

Freshly showered, his wet hair was pushed back carelessly from his brow. All he wore were a pair of jeans. He blinked in surprise at her.

"God, Cal. You scared me!" Her eyes took a quick appraisal before she could stop herself. His upper body was lean and hairless, incisions uncovered and healing, bruises yellowing. Old scars from a rough youth were also apparent.

"I scared _you_? You're the one breakin' and enterin'." He smiled as his eyes took measure of her, very aware of her scrutiny.

"I'm sorry. I was just concerned when you didn't answer the door." Gillian felt flustered. "Besides, you know I have a key." She finished somewhat lamely.

Silence filled the upstairs hallway. Gillian thought about retreating to the first floor. Couldn't quite do it. Cal continued to watch her, his expression thoughtful. "Don't know what I did to deserve you." His voice was so soft that she wasn't sure if she heard him correctly. "You should run the opposite direction, yet you don't."

All emotions from the past few weeks started to crash down upon her. Gillian felt like she was underwater. She couldn't breath. This was the same Cal from the hospital telling her that protecting her was instinctive. Essentially telling her that he'd _forfeit his life_ for her. When she thought he was dead, the pain was so intense that she wanted to die herself. Now here he was, very much alive and inquiring.

"Why?" Cal pushed, hazel eyes probing.

Tears started to overflow. She found a spot on the wall just over his right shoulder to focus on. "You're my best friend."

He gave a barely perceptible nod before stepping closer. Cal took her chin between his forefinger and his thumb and turned her head. Forcing her to meet his eyes. "What else?"

His face was still, eyes soft and an open book. Waiting patiently. Waiting for her truth.

Why was she so afraid? She knew she loved him with every fiber. But this was Cal. Emotionally unreliable Cal.

Gillian moved away and down the stairs without a word, eyes streaming.

He pursued her, clenching his teeth and grimacing as he took two steps at a time.

"Gillian." He felt himself wheezing as he caught her by the upper arm and spun her around to face him.

"Cal, I can't do this!"

He understood. He could be such a prat. Why would she risk a relationship with him? His assessment was correct. He really didn't deserve her. But then again, didn't love involve accepting one another's faults?

It took a moment for him to catch his breath. Despite her heightened emotions and apparent confusion, he saw her concern.

"Gill,' he gasped, slowed down and tried again. "Gill, I - " Cal stopped, trying to find the right words. "I want to be…. better…..for you." He released his hold on her arm and let his hand drop to his side, giving her the option. "Please don't run from me." The plea was barely a whisper.

His face was raw and vulnerable and as she watched wordlessly, his expression shifted to a resigned acceptance. Cal's eyes darted from her, his own emotional baggage becoming unbearable. He expected rejection. A sad smile played upon his lips. "Maybe it would be better if I arranged for a Helga. You shouldn't feel obligated to do this."

A moment later he started as her hand touched his face. He didn't move, could barely breath. Gillian explored his face with gentle fingers, touching his wet bangs, brushing past the wound above his right temple, aware of the inevitable scar, before trailing down the stubble of his cheek. Her eyes met his intently. "You scare me sometimes Cal."

He hung his head and nodded. "I'm sorry."

_Truth? Happiness? What now?_

"I can't keep myself from loving you anyway." Her hand was still on his cheek, while the other rested on his bare shoulder.

His eyes widened. She'd gone for truth.


	8. Chapter 8

Maybe it was time to have a little faith. They'd been doing a passionately charged Tango for years, both making lots of mistakes, but somehow sticking together despite everything. That had to mean something. No more games.

He was looking at her wide eyed and startled. It wasn't because she loved him, she was quite certain he was aware of that. The fact that she actually admitted it was what floored him. To be truthful, she was a bit surprised herself when she heard the admission pass her lips.

They seemed to be locked in time, unflinchingly meeting one another's gaze. The shock in his eyes gradually morphed into an uneasy mixture of love, tenderness, fear and uncertainty. Gillian could feel his hands at her waist, drawing her closer to him.

She broke eye contact and allowed her own hands to lightly trail down his chest, gently taking tactile note of his lean muscles and all his present and future scars. An involuntarily tremor ran through him but he remained still, permitting her not so subtle inspection. A moment later she cradled both sides of his face and leaned toward him. Cal met her half way and their lips connected in a sweet almost chaste kiss. He pulled back and leaned his forehead against hers. "I love you Gill." She smiled, closed her eyes and their lips met again. A long closed door began to swing open as the kiss deepened. Tongues danced and darted, warmth spread through them both. Cal planted kisses upon her jaw line and worked his way down her neck while her fingers entwined in his hair. She tilted her head back to allow him greater access, heart pounding deafeningly in her ears. He continued to nibble and found his way back up to one ear. Gillian broke out in gooseflesh as she heard and felt him chuckle in response. He arrived back at her lips with unfettered passion, hands moving from her waist, up to her ribs and proceeding to pull her top out of the confines of her skirt. She could feel his calloused hands spreading across the flatness of her belly before moving around her back, securely trapping her against him.

They both were breathing hard with excitement when he began to wheeze and cough. Cal immediately pulled away from her, eyes beginning to stream as he struggled to catch his breath. Gill reached out to him but he waved her way. _Give me a second_.

Apprehension shone in her eyes as she went to get her phone.

The coughing spell started to abate. He grabbed her by the wrist and shook his head. _Don't call. I'm okay_. Took in a long ragged breath followed by another. Not to be outdone, a familiar ache started behind his eyes as well. _Bloody hell._

He wandered dizzily to the couch and plopped down with a groan, eyes closed, head in hands.

Gillian was immediately next to him, one hand on his thigh. "Are you alright?" She felt horrible. They were so caught up in the moment that neither one considered the ramifications of too much, too soon.

Cal opened one eye, and gave her a half grin. "I'll be fine luv. Think that might be enough exercise for one day though." The grin faltered. Muscles in his jaw clenched and unclenched in pain.

"Is there anything I can get you?'

"Uh," he paused, debating intense head pain vs. loopy feeling of narcotics. "Yeah, bottle on kitchen table."

"While I'm at it, I'll grab you a shirt too."

"Thanks darlin'."

**(BREAK)**

An hour later, Cal was pleasantly glassy eyed and comfortable. He was stretched out, feet propped up on the coffee table casually crossed at the ankle. He also had one arm looped around Gillian as they relaxed in one another's company. A movie was playing but neither paid much attention to it.

"Why now darlin'?"

"Why what Cal?"

He cocked his head to look down and catch her eye, not bothering to answer.

She let out a sigh. "I guess I had a lot of time to think. Couldn't get certain things out of my mind."

"Like what?"

Gillian felt the sting of tears again. God. Seems like she was _always_ crying these days. "After the bomb went off, I really thought…you were dead. You were _so_ still. When they finally got to us, they actually pulled _me _out first. I can't even tell you how angry I was."

"Does make sense luv," he responded gently, brushing her hair with his fingertips and kissing her temple.

"It didn't make sense to _me_, not then." She sniffled and palmed away a stray tear. "I felt every second was running through my fingers and I couldn't do a damn thing about it!"

Cal had very few memories of these particular events. He remembered heading into the warehouse like an idiot, knocking Gillian down and then everything was smoke and shadows until he was almost out of ICU. Listening to Gill's point of view seemed almost surreal.

"All I could think about was all the time we've wasted. All the bullshit that really meant nothing."

He raised his eyebrows at her rare profanity but said nothing.

She pulled away and sat up straight to face him. "I can't say that I don't have any doubts. It would be unfair of you to expect otherwise." Gillian bit her lower lip and peered up at him, eyes bright. "I just love you too damned much not to be willing to try."

Cal leaned forward, caught the back of her head with one hand and propelled her toward him. His kiss was gentle and undemanding but still managed to take her breath away. He backed away slightly so she could see his eyes crinkle in a genuine smile. "Fair enough, darlin'. Fair enough."

**(BREAK)**

She let herself into the house, almost called out a greeting before stopping and closing her mouth instead. There was the low sound of the television but what caught her attention were the voices emanating from the living room. Particularly the tone of those voices. Dad and Gillian.

Emily stepped noiselessly into the hallway and caught sight of them conversing on the couch. _Something had changed_. They had always been comfortable with one another but she could sense a different energy about them now. As she watched, her dad pulled Gill toward him and kissed her tenderly. They proceeded to wrap their arms around one another and melt together. There was such a pure glow of love and happiness about them that Emily felt her jaw drop. Her shock was fleeting before the huge grin took over. _About time._

**THE END…? What do you think?**


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